Today's treat was the announcement from federal Opposition leader Tony Abbott - he of the recurrently-paraded hairy chest (and red budgy-smugglers) - that the escape of three internees from Villawood demonstrates that the Labor Government is "losing control of Australia's borders".
This is a 100-fold indictment of the Rudd Government's policies.Being old, grey and without the requisite swimmers (alas, the hair is on the shoulders rather than my chest) I confess to uncertainty about the meaning of a "100-fold indictment".
When Julia Gillard was the shadow minister for immigration she would regularly put out press releases saying 'another boat, another policy failure'. This is a policy failure compounded 100 times.
The unscheduled departure of three Chinese nationals from Villawood - they reportedly climbed over a fence and "are still on the run" - does not seem to prove that the world is an end, the family cockatoo or moggie cat will be molested (or perhaps turned into kittykat stirfry) and that we'll all be murdered in our beds.
The three escapees do not seem unusual: two had been detained for over-staying temporary visas and the third is said to be an unauthorised air arrival. The latter is thus in the position of most illegal immigrants, who arrived on a passenger aircraft (particularly from first world points of origin) and simply stayed. Hype about "100-fold" border failure, most 'illegals' are likely to be Euro backpackers - including backpackers with law degrees - and Indian undergrads notionally doing dubious training in hospitality or IT rather than people arriving in leaky boats from Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia or Rwanda.
It is unclear what the Opposition leader proposes to do. Should we shackle people in Villawood and other detention centres? Electrify the fences and encourage refugees to leap onto the live razorwire? Stick a postage stamp on each person's forehead and hope that Australia Post will return that individual to the place of origin, in the style of Paddington Bear? One contact, in jest, suggested that we should embrace the spirit of Human Achievement Day (the very brave non-event for people who don't like Earth Day) and celebrate advances in atrocities - as 'human' as a sonnet or a Schubert quartet - by nailing 'reffos' to the floor. That will stop them leaping the fence.
Ironically, wreaking havoc with a nail and hammer is proudly featured in a video on The Art Newspaper site. Relax, nailing your foot to the floor is Art with a capital A when you wear the requisite black tshirt, have a Virilio-quoting academic or two in attendance, the floor's part of a 'performance space' rather than a detention centre and there are cheque books rather than Tony Abbott in the vicinity.
The Art Newspaper clip comes from Volta NY 2010, the US offspring of the Basel art fair of the same name. This year the fair is tagged 'No Guts No Glory' -
the fair continued it's [sic] challenging format which sees each booth dedicated to a single artist. ... performance art proved a popular choice and perhaps most notable was Todd Pavlisko's work in which he nailed one of his own feet to a wooden floor. Be warned this film contains and excerpt from the video of this graphic work.Ooh aah, fun with a nail, a hammer and a bare foot! Cynical grinch that I am, I recall performance artist Stelarc floating overhead while suspended from fishing line attached to hooks inserted through his flesh.
That's a difficult gig to top ... I prefer not to think about people who have suffered in the cause of art by nailing a member (no, we're not talking fingers or toes) to a breadboard. After a while even the boldest Grand Guignol seems passe: one can of elephant dung (or alleged elephant dung) is a witty deconstruction but a crateload of cans of kaka is merely a latent health hazard and conservator's nightmare.
